Dear catholic church,

Why do you make it so bloody easy to hate you? Considering the sins of your most faithful, most fervent follows, it’s a damn good thing that your particular god only needs an “Oops! Sorry about that!”" for the slate to be wiped clean. It’s okay to rape and pillage and murder- then cover it all up- as long as you apologize.

Oh, and then after you sexually abuse untold numbers of small children under the guise of your religious superiority, you can actually ask your parishioners to help foot the bill for the resulting lawsuit. How clever of you!

Count your lucky stars that the catholic church thinks this is all okay because if you were a member of The Religion of Dog, we’d rip your fucking throat out.

Sincerely,

Kim

Seriously people, I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried. The church is asking it’s members to chip in to help raise the 10 million Euro settlement against it after dozens of it’s priests were found guilty of child sexual abuse going as far back as 1962

“If Christ was here, he would be burning down the Vatican, and I for one would be helping him.”

I couldn’t agree with you more Sinead. I mean, if I believed in him in the first place.

A small departure from my regular dear asshole posts- this one isn’t actually directed at anyone in particular. Shocking, I know.

Dear Asshole,

Today is one of those days when I just hate. I hate you, and you, and you over there. You’re ok, but you, yes you, are a fucking idiot. But you, you I adore, your friend though, total asshole.

So today there are many assholes. In fact, there seem to be assholes everywhere and hence today being a day of HATE. I hate that our government is reviewing the lyrics to Oh Canada rather that getting some actual fucking work done, I hate that the olympics have us in BC so far in the hole that we can’t see the light, I hate that I have to listen to whiny fucking people on a constant basis and yet I’m not allowed to punch them. I also hate the way my deodorant smells today. I hate people who don’t pick up their dog shit and people who throw wrappers on the ground because they’re so fucking lazy. I hate that people are getting away with murder.

Today there are far too many assholes to count. And to you all, I’m looking desperately for a fucking well to throw you down.

Sincerely,

Kim

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEVE!!!!!!!!!!!

(Though seeing as I gave him the guitar WEEKS ago- it seems strange saying that today!)

The photo is a bit shitty so let me clarify my gourmet wizardry for you…..

Lobster, crab legs, scallops in lime and red chilies, scallops in bacon and caramelized tomatoes, prawns in lemon & garlic, a big bowl of clams & muscles in white wine and fennel and a wee delicate watercress salad.

BEST. DINNER. EVER.

So after a grotesquely overindulgent burger-fest, Steve & I went to see Avatar. I don’t see many movies in the theater because my hips have been complete and apparently permanent assholes since I was a teen, but given that there is the whole “3-D” part of it, we gave it a whirl.

The story was a little hinkey in that we’ve heard it a bazillion times before (think of every “blockbuster put out in the last 10 years) though I did truly appreciate the fact that we as humans (oops, sorry, THE USA) were the asshats and the aliens were the better kind. It was a refreshing change for the norm.

So, despite the issues I had with the rehashed same old, same old story line, I have to say that the visuals, the lushness of the scenes, the sheer fucking beauty of it…….

Yeah, I loved it. I didn’t even notice it was almost three fucking hours long. Take it from a chick that has wonky hips and avoids theaters like the plague. It’s a really fucking fun ride. And how can you fault something that lets you turn around at any given time to look out to a room full of people wearing creepy Woody Allen-esque black framed glasses?

(And I TOTALLY want to be a hot blue chick running around half naked in a day-glow forest!!!!)

It’s a very well known fact that I cook, and I cook well. Very well in fact. I like fresh, I like aromatic, and I like bold.

However, even a hard core foodie craves a little grossness now & then and I just had my annual craving for a grease-fest. You know the kind- when you feel like you have to shower several times after eating…..

Don’t judge me.

Are these chest pains normal? Is it possible for your arteries to actually hurt?

Happy Birthday my love!

ps- Steve’s birthday isn’t actually until March 2nd but this arrived early and I lack that whole “patience” thing so I forced him to open it IMMEDIATELY. Oh, and having him bang away on this tonight while I’m trying to watch Grey’s Anatomy won’t be irritating at all. Really.

For some rather baffling reason this blog seems to be getting hit up on the keywords

“Dalai Lama + illuminati” an awful lot lately.

Is this a sign of some kind? We’re about to be taken over by kind benevolent men in robes who live double lives as members of a secret society?

I personally wouldn’t be surprised if something like that happened- not that I think his Holiness would condone such action- but seriously, is ANYTHING really shocking these days? I could open my front door one day and be surrounded by a band of brightly painted pygmies with swords and I’d still be all

“Meh, whatever, little dudes. Get the fuck off my lawn!”

We’re no longer shocked by war, or billions in over spending for the olympics, or genocide, or abuse. Pictures of dead civilians in Afghanistan could be switched out with stills from the last Freddy or Jason horror movie and most people wouldn’t even notice or care, and those commercials to remind us about the starving children around the world all covered in flies, crying and holding their swollen bellies get switched off almost as fast as you would when channel surfing and accidentally landing on Nancy Grace.

Is it just me, or are we some jaded motherfuckers!??

Empathy, that sweet and dotting grandmother of emotions seems to be withering away. She has a lung tumor or gangrene, or some other terrifying ailment that has eaten off so many chunks of her that she is barely recognizable. There is still enough left for those “BIG EVENTS” like the tsunami in 2004 or Haiti, but that everyday stuff- the stuff that never seems to get enough attention to be fixed- seems to hardly be a blip on the radar.

I have always assumed that as we get progressively more advanced, have more access to information, and are more globally connected that these things would matter more, not less. However, I stupidly forgot one major element in that train of thought.

Humans are at the wheel.

It’s recipe day!!!!!! And this time we’re drinking white wine. I know, change is difficult. We’ll get through it together…..

You’ll need

A bottle of white wine- I like pinot grigio but anything dry will do- avoid Chardonnay. This recipe only calls for 1 cup so buy something you like to drink silly!

About 3 dozen or so fresh small clams

2 cloves of finely sliced garlic cloves

good sized pinch of dried chilies

a handful of roughly chopped fresh parsley

3 tbsp olive oil

salt & fresh pepper

Put on a big pot of well salted water to boil for the linguine noodles.

Put 1 cup of wine in a medium pot, bring it to a boil, drop in the clams and put a lid on that baby. They should only take 2-3 minutes to cook and fully open. Dig out the meat and discard any clams that didn’t open. separately, set aside clam meat & cooking booze because you’re gonna need it in a minute.

In a big skillet heat 1 tbsp of the oil over med/low heat and toss in garlic. (psst- hey you. Don’t forget about the noodles. Make the damn linguine noodles!!!) Stir the garlic until it softens but don’t let it start to colour- it changes the taste. Stir in chilies & parsley and cook for another minute or so. Stir in wine from clam cooking and let it bubble down for a couple minutes. Drain pasta and add it as well as the remaining oil & clam meat to the pan. Add a shit load of fresh ground back pepper and a big pinch of crushed rock salt or sea salt. (Are you still using crappy table salt? Really? Buy a cheap little mortar & pedestal or salt grinder and get the good stuff- it’s not expensive and it make a HUGE fucking difference.)

Deep warm bowls & a chunk of toasted baguette. Oh yeah, that’s the goods baby, and in all of 15 minutes.