It’s that time of year again TV fans- the networks are pulling out their most cringe worthy programing in hopes of luring in the masses and duct taping them to their couches- eyes fixed forward, Doritos in hand. The old favorites are of course returning; Grey’s Anatomy, Bones, the CSI franchise, the Law & Order franchise, Criminal Minds, etc, etc. (Do you sense a pattern here? We are clearly a society that likes a little blood, guts and crime. We like to see bad things happen to other people.) Each and every time the new fall programing and list of premiers is revealed, I am freshly astounded by how much absolute shit is available and the fervor with which we consume it. Two notables for this year include “90210″ (WTF? Seriously?) and Knight Rider. (Yes, the 80’s Kit embarrassment drama is back for another spin. Though it’s listed as beginning the fall season with re-runs, which considering it’s a new show, I find rather amusing.)

However, the largest percentage of new shows again take the form of Reality TV. Of course we know that there is very little “real” about it, but we can’t seem to get enough. It’s a play on our seemingly endless lust for public humiliation. The premise for the vast majority of these gong shows programs is manipulation, double dealing and cruel intent. Those unable to sink to such a level are cornered by the group and torn to shreds. Before you start feeling too bad for those teary eyed souls that are told that they just don’t cut it- remember that they signed up for this!

New season of reality TV

Now don’t get me wrong, I have a few reality TV guilty pleasures of my own (Amazing race & RW Road Rules) but there are a few new ones and several returning ones that make me want to throw up a little in my mouth.  Here are my top five reasons to want to shoot yourself in the face-I’ve peppered in a few pulled outta wild blue make-believe and am saddened to see that there is little difference between the fake & the real. Can you figure it out?

#1- 3rd time lucky for skanky ho. Yet another shot @ love with Tila Tequila

#2- Fall in love with total stranger in one episode and gush to the world about it. The Bachelor(ette)

#3 Irritating unskilled loud mouth hitting on anything that walks. Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency

#4 OMG! You’re still alive? Scott Baio is 65 and still listens to 80’s music.

#5 Slutty spoiled cougars on parade. Real housewives of Orange county/New York/Atlanta

Strap on the stained bathrobe because the new season of crap-in-a-box has begun. Remember the good old days when reality TV meant a documentary?

**Sigh**

It appears as though Listeria is Canada’s latest “Walkerton” (though thus far lacking Walkerton’s intentionally negligent response time). Maple Leaf Foods have shut down the plant in Toronto which has been positively linked to the Listeria contamination, started a massive product recall, and are running damage control commercials starring a rather somber looking CEO, Michael McCain. As one of the largest deli style meat producers in the country, the recalls and associated illness have quickly grown into a country wide concern rather than a local one. With dozens of people falling ill (thus far), a handful having since died and with more deaths expected, this was clearly not the ideal time for the press to get wind of a leaked cabinet document regarding the safety and inspection of Canadian meat.

As the document hit the press, the shit hit the fan. (more…)

Overheard today at the grocery store re; “Grey’s Anatomy”

“Yeah, it would be totally cool working with all those hot guys, but I could never be a doctor!”

“Why not?”

“Haven’t you like seen what they have to wear?”

Hurts.

To.

Listen.

I’m diggin’ this song Paper Planes by M.I.A. Catchy, has a sexy world beat kinda sound and the lyrics kick ass in a way that makes you think. It’s getting tons of airplay and the buzz on the net seems to suggest its stirring lots of discussion and maybe just a little bit of controversy. Love it.

My take on her lyrics is a satirical portrayal of the gangster thug mentality “all i wanna do is shoot you motherfuckers and take your damn money” and projecting that to the international scene and The War on Terror ®.

M.I.A (Mathangi “Maya” Arulpragasam) has what you might call a rather interesting past. Not only was she raised in Sri Lanka amid the chaos of their 22 year civil war, she did so as the daughter of one of the founding member of the Tamil Tigers. (more…)

Good things come in remote packages

To whom ever invented the webcam;

You my friend are owed a case of very fine scotch.

Sincerely,

K

Now that the Canadian athletes are racking up the medals in Beijing, everyone is hap-hap-happy. Except me. I’m a little pissed off. During the early days of the Olympics, Canada didn’t make the podium once and I’m choked at the media and “fan” response to that medal-less beginning. The press tore the athletes apart and the snippets from your regular Joe Canadians were substantially less than flattering.

I guess we’re only proud of them if they’re bringing home something shiny? Is that it? Gee, what a terrific display of the spirit of the games and such a valuable lesson for the children of our nation. “Wave that flag proudly kids! Wave it high, but if they don’t win, use that flag to flog them.”

It’s absolute crap & you all know it. Each and everyone of you who were a part of it should be ashamed as you sit there at the bus stop waiting for the Team Canada bandwagon to pick you up.

Canadian cemetery at Dieppe

On this date in 1942 thousands of young men, a large portion of them Canadian, stormed the German occupied French port of Dieppe. Few made it back alive. The sheer volume of loss of life and the speed at which it took place along that shore line is staggering and should be respectfully remembered. Not just today.

Everyday.

Ha ha ha ha ha………..

Don't judge a book by it's cover?

Ok, upon viewing this photo- one must admit that it looks a little “dirty”. Anyone wanna hazard a guess as to what I’m licking off my finger?

(Shut up Steve)