The phlegm train has abated and I think it is due to the bottles of Red Stripe beer that I drank last night. Not the usual dozen mind you, just a couple so Steve wouldn’t feel like punching me in the face every time I opened my oh-so-whiny mouth.
I believe that a nice cold beer on a frosty clear night is the perfect remedy for the common cold, even for freaks like me.
Tastes better than Buckley's
Yeah, I know….. Kinda like watching paint dry but with leaves. Shut up, I was sick this weekend and therefore excused from being incredibly lame.
It’s Thursday afternoon and absolutely glorious outside. A blast of warmth and blue sky above the fall leaves. It’s the best day that we’ve had for weeks. Am I outside enjoying it? Or rather have I been, or will I be?
No. I will not and I have not. I am sitting in bed amid a sea of snotty Kleenex. If I were the 8th of Miss White’s dwarfs, I would be named Goddamnshitcoldcrapfuck but you can just call me bitchy for short. I don’t do “sick” very well. It is simply not my forte. I am rarely ill so I haven’t had the opportunity to amass the necessary skills to glide through sickness with grace and patience. I am more the “kick shit and growl” type. I also don’t take cold medicine so it’s full bore from start to finish. It’s not that I’m against cold medicine, but being raised by a hippy means that we had Tiger Balm because according to my Mother, Tiger Balm fixed everything. “Headache? Here, slather on some Tiger Balm! Compound fracture? Let me just grab the Tiger Balm.” I also think that those hot Neo Citrony type drinks taste like a sugary lemon flavored mug of hate. If puking was not already on the agenda, it certainly would be after a cup of that evil.
My friend Susin looooooves cold medicine–or at least she did in her pre baby days–and scoffs at the “recommended dosage” warnings. We lived together in our younger and far less responsible days and Susin getting a wicked cold was something that I would look forward to with wide eyed lip licking anticipation. She would lay on our extremely hideous plaid couch and moan while I made tea and helped with the child proof lids and bubble packs. Her first dose would always be enough to lay down an entire herd of buffalo and I, being the loving devoted friend that I am, would dole out supplementary doses regularly through the day. It was kind of a game between us to see how close we could get her to a coma without actually crossing that razor fine line. If we had speed dial back in those days, poison control would have been our #1. We came frighteningly close to 911 a couple of times, but somehow I was always able to slap her out of the stupor. Susin really hates being conscious during a cold and having known her for so long, I can attest to the fact that it’s best for everyone this way.
So….the fact that I am playing hookie from work means that the only living breathing witnesses to my record worthy phlegm and snot production are the cat and dog who though snuggly, are not so good with the fetching of tea or sympathetic noises (unless you count Maggi’s snoring.) Alas, as I have known me for as long as I have, I can attest that this also is best for everyone. I am not a particularly pretty or pleasant sight laying here groaning and blowing, and yes Mother, applying a little Tiger Balm.
Well well well….. Imagine my surprise! I boot up the little ole ‘puter and WHAM! Phaedra punches me! Let me tell you, being punched by a former dominatrix is a hell of a terrific way to start the day! Though I don’t normally play well with others, I will both play along and pass along if only to share random facts of my life with all of you.
Anderson Cooper last night on Anderson 360;
“Stick around and We’ll tell you about one Merrill Lynch executive who is raking in millions while the company goes bust. You won’t believe this!”
Won’t believe it? Are you kidding Anderson?
It happens everyday.
Following the federal inquiry, Former Supreme Court of Canada Justice Frank Iacobucci’s report has found that Canada must shoulder some of the blame in the torture of 3 Canadian man. Abdullah Almalki, Muayyed Nureddin and Ahmad El Maati, each detained separately while travelling in Syria, spent between 34 days and 26 months in prison due in part to information shared by both the RCMP and CSIS. Among the actions considered contributing factors was the inflammatory label “imminent threat” which Iacobucci noted was used without regard for what it’s impact would be. One can certainly assume that this impact would be high considering all three men were held in the wake of 9/11 when the mere hint of the word terrorist would ensure the rules and liberties of citizens everywhere could be justifiably bent. In the case of Mr. El Maati the RCMP described him as “linked through association to al-Qaeda” and an “Imminent threat to public safety” without taking the steps required to ensure that the description was accurate or proven.
The inquiry, 22 months in the making, was a closed door affair and doesn’t name names. As Iacobucci stated; “It is neither necessary nor appropriate that I make findings concerning the actions of any individual Canadian official, and I have not done so,”
Sadly, now that Steve’s a famous TV star (guy #2) the hookers and blow will undoubtedly follow shortly.
