Hey Fox News…… FUCK YOU!

You ignorant useless fuckheels. How have you not been beaten to death?

In case you hadn’t noticed, here is an example as to why we are in the shit globally, a clear indication that our priorities are ass backwards, and why we seem to be failing miserably as a species in this new millennium……

This reported by CNN;

JOHANNESBURG, South Africa (CNN) — South Africa has refused the Dalai Lama a visa to attend an international peace conference in Johannesburg this week, a presidential spokesman said. The Tibetan spiritual leader and Nobel Laureate did not receive a visa because it was not in South Africa’s interest for him to attend, said Thabo Masebe.

South Africa thinks that, if the Dalai Lama attended the conference, the focus would shift away from the 2010 World Cup — the global soccer championship it will host next year.

Holygoodhellmotherfucker.

Remember the good old days when you would wake up in your lead paint laden bedroom to cram in a breakfast of processed foods before running out into the street with your friends to zip around the neighborhood on your banana seat equip bike sans helmet or bell or reflectors? Seat belts were optional, a BB gun was a perfectly acceptable gift for 10 year old, lawn darts were cool rather than “deadly projectiles” and if you spilled hot coffee in your lap you were laughed at rather than awarded several million dollars in the resulting lawsuit. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for safety- particularly when children are involved. I wholeheartedly support child safety seats & the cutting of the strangulating loopy cords on blinds, not letting adults smoke in a car containing children etc, etc. Do I believe in letting a kid fall down and scrape their knee? Absolutely- kids aren’t meant to live in bubbles and those glow in the dark band aids are available for a reason. I think we take safety a few steps over the line into the realm of overprotective but I don’t have kids, so what the hell do I know.

When it comes to adults though, I think we’ve not only crossed the line, I think we’ve trekked far beyond it and are camping deep in the heart of crazy town (aka enforced risk management for the masses.) Think I’m exaggerating? Let’s look at just a few recent examples. New Jersey is considering an all out ban on Brazilian waxing. If I were in New Jersey, it would no longer be my decision whether I wanted to sport the smooth hairless look verses the racing strip or the full Michael Jackson because 2 women reported being injured during the waxing service. Are you kidding me? How is the volume (or lack of) my pubic hair the business of anyone other than me?

The tragic death of actress Natasha Richardson has landed the helmet issue right back in the spotlight and as they’re already mandatory for bicycles most everywhere, I’m sure ski hills are next. And don’t forget water skiing, tubing and rollerblading. Oh and skateboarding, or for that matter, crossing the damn street.

Australia wants to follow China and Iran’s lead in mandatory internet filters. Porn would be just one of the things that would be banned because apparently Australians are not capable of looking at porn without adverse effects or without children getting a hold of it. What about those porn loving childless people? Nope! No porn for you either….you know, just in case.

I am quite frankly getting sick of being told what is and is not too dangerous or too risky for me. (Though don’t you find it highly amusing that we’re not allowed to drive around the block without being buckled in but it’s perfectly acceptable for to jump off of a fuck off foot high cliff attached to a giant elastic. Acceptable risk management 101?)I am an adult- isn’t being able to make your own decisions that what we as children looked forward to the most about being a grown up?

I’m no daredevil but if I want to wax my pink parts while watching porn and running with scissors….well, fuck you, I’m damn well gonna do it.

AIDS “is a tragedy that cannot be overcome by money alone, that cannot be overcome through the distribution of condoms, which even aggravates the problems. The solution lies in a “spiritual and human awakening” and “friendship for those who suffer.”

That’s what the Pope said about a recent trip to Africa. Yup, that’s right, The Pope would rather see billions more dies of AIDS than say, “what the heck, protect yourselves. Wear a condom.” I’m sorry- this may be considered very rude or in very poor taste, but that sentiment makes me want to wrap my warm little hands around his wrinkled old neck and squeeze. Hard.

It’s ok if this entire continent is being crushed under the weight of this disease, it’s ok if the death toll from AIDS in Africa is larger than most countries, and it’s also ok if a large percent of an entire generation will be orphaned after their parents die of AIDS.

It’s all ok, as long as you don’t use a condom.

I will admit to having a slight hangover today due to yesterdays society sanctioned mid week drinking. However because I am both Irish and German, my hangover is very efficient and extremely well crafted.

So Mr Murdering country raping asshat Bush had a speaking engagement today in Calgary. This is his first such engagement since being dethrone and he joked that “Calgary was one of the few places that would have him.”  Tickets for this little shin dig were $400.00 a pop and for 1500 guests and media were not permitted access. (Dammit! That means no blooper reel!)

As a protester was being arrested outside for throwing a flip flop at the building (yes, you read that correctly, he was arrested for throwing a flip flop) another one was reported to be yelling “Why are you arresting him? The criminal is inside!” Ahhh. we are a kind an gentle people.

The thing that surprises me is that today is St. Paddy’s day. Wouldn’t a speech by Bush make more sense on April fools day? Really, I mean it’s only a couple of weeks away…..

To all of you out there who wish you were just “a little Irish” to feel less like a lush for getting shitfaced mid week, I offer to you a few drops of my Irish blood. Though please keep in mind that as I am both Irish & German, you may feel an overwhelming desire to snack on some sauerkraut while chugging back your green beer tonight.

PS- A true Irish would NEVER drink green beer. Just putting that out there….

Dear Asshole,

You, fucknut, are the imbecile that brought your unspayed female dog to the dog park yesterday when she was CLEARLY in heat. Not just that, but you then proceed to get snippy with every other dog owner when their dogs went berserk and tried to fuck her. Are you fucking kidding me? It’s a dog park you wannabe princess. A DOG PARK! Are you seriously so stupid that you were surprised by their reactions? And if you really and truly are that much of an idiot, how do you remember to breath?

Since I cannot bring myself to wish your dog any ill will just to spite you-not even that your prized shitzu give birth to a litter that all resemble scrappy strays- I will instead wish you horrid body odor, eye watering bad breath and a weird flaky skin condition that makes people avoid you in social situations. I feel bad for your dog, you stupid stuck up bitch.

-Kim