So after a grotesquely overindulgent burger-fest, Steve & I went to see Avatar. I don’t see many movies in the theater because my hips have been complete and apparently permanent assholes since I was a teen, but given that there is the whole “3-D” part of it, we gave it a whirl.

The story was a little hinkey in that we’ve heard it a bazillion times before (think of every “blockbuster put out in the last 10 years) though I did truly appreciate the fact that we as humans (oops, sorry, THE USA) were the asshats and the aliens were the better kind. It was a refreshing change for the norm.

So, despite the issues I had with the rehashed same old, same old story line, I have to say that the visuals, the lushness of the scenes, the sheer fucking beauty of it…….

Yeah, I loved it. I didn’t even notice it was almost three fucking hours long. Take it from a chick that has wonky hips and avoids theaters like the plague. It’s a really fucking fun ride. And how can you fault something that lets you turn around at any given time to look out to a room full of people wearing creepy Woody Allen-esque black framed glasses?

(And I TOTALLY want to be a hot blue chick running around half naked in a day-glow forest!!!!)

It’s a very well known fact that I cook, and I cook well. Very well in fact. I like fresh, I like aromatic, and I like bold.

However, even a hard core foodie craves a little grossness now & then and I just had my annual craving for a grease-fest. You know the kind- when you feel like you have to shower several times after eating…..

Don’t judge me.

Are these chest pains normal? Is it possible for your arteries to actually hurt?

Happy Birthday my love!

ps- Steve’s birthday isn’t actually until March 2nd but this arrived early and I lack that whole “patience” thing so I forced him to open it IMMEDIATELY. Oh, and having him bang away on this tonight while I’m trying to watch Grey’s Anatomy won’t be irritating at all. Really.

For some rather baffling reason this blog seems to be getting hit up on the keywords

“Dalai Lama + illuminati” an awful lot lately.

Is this a sign of some kind? We’re about to be taken over by kind benevolent men in robes who live double lives as members of a secret society?

I personally wouldn’t be surprised if something like that happened- not that I think his Holiness would condone such action- but seriously, is ANYTHING really shocking these days? I could open my front door one day and be surrounded by a band of brightly painted pygmies with swords and I’d still be all

“Meh, whatever, little dudes. Get the fuck off my lawn!”

We’re no longer shocked by war, or billions in over spending for the olympics, or genocide, or abuse. Pictures of dead civilians in Afghanistan could be switched out with stills from the last Freddy or Jason horror movie and most people wouldn’t even notice or care, and those commercials to remind us about the starving children around the world all covered in flies, crying and holding their swollen bellies get switched off almost as fast as you would when channel surfing and accidentally landing on Nancy Grace.

Is it just me, or are we some jaded motherfuckers!??

Empathy, that sweet and dotting grandmother of emotions seems to be withering away. She has a lung tumor or gangrene, or some other terrifying ailment that has eaten off so many chunks of her that she is barely recognizable. There is still enough left for those “BIG EVENTS” like the tsunami in 2004 or Haiti, but that everyday stuff- the stuff that never seems to get enough attention to be fixed- seems to hardly be a blip on the radar.

I have always assumed that as we get progressively more advanced, have more access to information, and are more globally connected that these things would matter more, not less. However, I stupidly forgot one major element in that train of thought.

Humans are at the wheel.

It’s recipe day!!!!!! And this time we’re drinking white wine. I know, change is difficult. We’ll get through it together…..

You’ll need

A bottle of white wine- I like pinot grigio but anything dry will do- avoid Chardonnay. This recipe only calls for 1 cup so buy something you like to drink silly!

About 3 dozen or so fresh small clams

2 cloves of finely sliced garlic cloves

good sized pinch of dried chilies

a handful of roughly chopped fresh parsley

3 tbsp olive oil

salt & fresh pepper

Put on a big pot of well salted water to boil for the linguine noodles.

Put 1 cup of wine in a medium pot, bring it to a boil, drop in the clams and put a lid on that baby. They should only take 2-3 minutes to cook and fully open. Dig out the meat and discard any clams that didn’t open. separately, set aside clam meat & cooking booze because you’re gonna need it in a minute.

In a big skillet heat 1 tbsp of the oil over med/low heat and toss in garlic. (psst- hey you. Don’t forget about the noodles. Make the damn linguine noodles!!!) Stir the garlic until it softens but don’t let it start to colour- it changes the taste. Stir in chilies & parsley and cook for another minute or so. Stir in wine from clam cooking and let it bubble down for a couple minutes. Drain pasta and add it as well as the remaining oil & clam meat to the pan. Add a shit load of fresh ground back pepper and a big pinch of crushed rock salt or sea salt. (Are you still using crappy table salt? Really? Buy a cheap little mortar & pedestal or salt grinder and get the good stuff- it’s not expensive and it make a HUGE fucking difference.)

Deep warm bowls & a chunk of toasted baguette. Oh yeah, that’s the goods baby, and in all of 15 minutes.

Dear Asshole,

A dozen times a day you ask me. Your shiny/happy/grain fed people on TV keep asking me, as well as in the newspaper, online, on the radio, and in slick glossy magazine articles.

“Do YOU believe?”

Yes, I believe. I believe in broken promises, budgets that you had no intention of keeping, and shady press conferences to down play your enormous cost over runs. I believe in the hungry and homeless and mentally ill that scar your perfect vision of Vancouver as an urban utopia and I believe you wish it were socially acceptable to set them adrift at sea so you wouldn’t have to deal with them. I believe that you only care about homelessness in a “send it somewhere else while the world is watching” sort of way and then when the Olympics end, so will your feigned interest.  I believe in a massive burden of debt handed to the people of BC all wrapped up in a red fucking scarf from the Bay or Roots, or where ever the hell people buy that shit. I believe in job losses directly attributed to this debt, and I believe we will all pay higher taxes. I believe in the cutting or underfunding of important social services and programs and I believe that you don’t give a flying fuck about the people effected by these losses.

I believe that you are more concerned with what people think of Vancouver than you are about it’s actual citizens or the negative long term affects that the games will have on Vancouver and BC as a whole. I believe that the Olympics as they are today are financially irresponsible and there are many other ways to highlight athletic achievement in a manner that doesn’t snap the spine of the host city and I wholeheartedly believe that you care above none of this.

Lastly, I believe that you have no right to be angry about or should be allowed to censor anything that I or any other person may say against the Olympics. Despite the fact that you had performers of the games sign those bullshit “Only happy, positive comments allowed” or your ridiculous “free speech zones” I believe that you have no right to complain about my complaints.

After all jackass, you’re the one who keeps fucking asking me if I believe.

Sincerely,

kim

Dexter- “Deb, how much coffee have you had?”

Deb- “A metric fuck-tonne”

-From Dexter

This afternoon, after my regular life chores like walking the dogs, buying the groceries and doing the dishes, I walked a block through the alley and sat on a greasy spoon diner patio in the crisp air, read The Walrus and drank a couple of beers. There were birds chirping.

It was pretty fucking excellent.