to desire the replica

posted by: Kim
posted on: February 3rd, 2010

OK- I think we’re all pretty clear on my distrust of organized religion, right? No? Check here, here, here or here because I’m not sure that I could be any more clear on the subject. So……. I’ve decided that I will start a religion of my own.

It is a religion of DOG.

Think about it for a second. Religion is comprised of the following things; Faith, loyalty, love, honesty, the ability to see you through the most difficult of times, and wrath. Dog, rather than God, does all of these things willingly and with the constant visual proof that we logical humans require. I know- some of you are thinking that “We shouldn’t need proof” and yet, look at humanity- we clearly do. More wars and more blood shed and death have started over religious beliefs than any other cause on the face of this freaking planet. This type of carnage… it wouldn’t be accepted, let alone justified, by any god that I personally could fathom believing in.

And so, I bring you the religion of Dog.

Faith. Dog perspective; I with have faith in every single little thing that you do.  I will wait at the front door for your entire work day and I will Know without question that you will return. Knowing that I know this, you will always return.

Loyalty. Dog perspective; There is no circumstance that will cause me to be disloyal to you. It would simply never happen. Never ever, ever. I will champion every victory and I will lovingly console every defeat. I will never leave your side, or the comfy spot on the couch.

Love. Dog perspective; I will love you even when you are shitty and stupid and neglectful. I will love you always, even on the days when you don’t act as though you love me.

Honesty. Dog perspective; I am a dog. I don’t have the ability to lie and will always show you exactly what I am feeling. I will not hold any emotion back even if it is lust and I feel the need to hump your friend’s leg.

Seeing you through difficult times. Dog perspective; I will lay beside you while you cry, while you laugh, and while you are confused. I will be your rock and I will be unbending.

Wrath. Dog perspective; I don’t want to hurt you, I want to love you without question for the rest of my days. However, if you poke me with a stick or the heel of your boot enough times, I will rip your fucking face off.

So, debate me this people; Is not the religion of Dog more straight forward, more honest, and more true than anything us crappy human kind could ever make up? I have to say, I am far more willing to throw my soul to the religion of Dog than I am any current or past day religion of God in what ever form he may pop up in.

When it comes to the religion of Dog, there is no “wiggle room” or conflict in that which the message says. The religion of Dog is clear. The religion of Dog is the only one that truly makes sense to me.