I have a long list today but it starts off with the fact that I am hopeful that Steve sees this new post in his reader and goes out and picks me up a bottle of wine. It has to go first on the list because I swear that he only skims my posts. Fucker. Plus I want the wine really bad so it should be first.
Other slightly less important things that I am hopeful for;
*I am hopeful that our plane doesn’t crash when we whip out to Edmonton this weekend for Ckenzie’s wedding. She has been like a daughter to me since she was 8 and though her dad and I dated for less than a year and I lost touch with him about a decade ago, she still calls me mom.
**I am hopeful that Steve still wants to fly home with me on Sunday. As a large contingent of my father’s side of the family happen to live in Edmonton my fantastic Uncle Darcy will be hosting a big bbq in honour of my rather rare visit. There will be loads of us of all ages and ungodly amounts of booze and laughter and someone will fall in the fire at some point, even if there isn’t one. I will do drunken wheelies in my Uncle Dale’s wheelchair for at least a half hour on the back deck or until Dale throws a beer can at me from the grass, or wherever I have unceremoniously dumped him.
Steve will be meeting them all for the first time. They will undoubtedly recount the time I was spending the summer in Alberta with my father and he pulled a rifle on a guy I was holding hands with on the couch while whispering a low and frighting “What are your intentions with my daughter?” When the boy eventually started breathing again my father simply giggled and walked away. They may also bring up the time a date came to pick me up and my father and 7 of his 9 siblings answered the door. They scrutinized him in total silence while he stood awkwardly outside wondering what to do until one of my uncles finally yelled out “Fuck it! Don’t like the look of this one, let’s string him up!”
Again, Steve will be meeting them all for the first time. Fuck.
**I am hopeful that my damn receptionist gets back from her 400 year holiday soon. I hate people and I want to beat the shit outta the fucking photocopier.
***I am hopeful that baby Gray remembers the fun days like last Sunday when he’s older. Sitting with Auntie Kim having lunch and then traipsing around the wildlife park and having to kidnap him with a modified full nelson out of the bouncy room and throwing him down the slide lest we never be able to leave the park.
***I am hopeful that Susin’s husband Stan never again accidentally orders 50 wings instead of 15 on wing day. 50 hot and 50 garlic. Despite the 100 wing fiasco in the afternoon, he still managed to polish off the bulk of his dinner at the Mexican place we went to before the Kelowna Matt Good show. I am also hopeful that the four of us will have many many more of those patio dinners when we laugh so hard margarita comes out of places that it shouldn’t.
****I am hopeful Steve goes to pick me up a bottle of wine that is waiting for me when I get home from work. A big one. Yes, I know I’ve already said that. Shut up.
*****I am hopeful that my crazy lovely mother has many more birthdays ahead of her. When I phoned her yesterday she said “My birthday? Today?” *obvious sounds of flipping pages in the background, maybe a calendar or maybe the phone book- with her you never know* “Oh look! It is! Wow, I’m 83 today!” (Just for the record, she’s 62 but is desperately looking forward to when she “looks” old enough to act batshit crazy in public and get away with it. You laugh because you think I’m kidding. You clearly haven’t met my mother. She will pee her pants in public the first chance she gets. Do not doubt me on this.)
*****Lastly I am hopeful that Steve bought wine. or beer. I could really handle a nice cold beer while walking the dogs later.