Dexter- “Deb, how much coffee have you had?”

Deb- “A metric fuck-tonne”

-From Dexter

“Fuck no! My mom raised bad kids, not stupid ones!”

Overheard today on my way to work.

A cut & paste of talking to Steve via IM after he dropped his keyboard and it had a small stroke and began to randomly throw in caps.

Stever says:

GOT nEW KEYBoard juST nOT SET IT UP YEt

Kim says:

is like talking to a person with a helmet on or medicated

Stever says:

I’m TYPOGRApHIcAlly BI_PoLaR

“Gold doesn’t have the gentle dignity of silver which becomes more charming as it ages, and so the cathedral seems to be decorated like an old woman with too much make-up.”

-Che Guevara

(This quote was after he saw the cathedral at Cuzco, Peru. I have been there and I agree.)

Barney- “Oh Oh Oh! Marshal’s wearing a nightgown!!!”

Marshal- “It’s a night shirt.”

Barney- “You can call it a ninja death star and it’s still a nightgown.”

Leanne- “Does it smell like mushrooms in here? Why do I smell mushrooms?”

Karen- “Your having a stroke.”

Leanne- “No, that’s burned toast.”

Me- “No, that’s a seizure.”

Karen- “You’re definitely having a stroke.”

“I’m glad that I had a nugget of ignorance. I’m kind of the Sarah Palin of orchestra.”

-Rufus Wainwright to Elvis Costello on failing out of music school.

“My hands were so dry I was choking.”

-Crazy Lavern at work

(I would clarify if that were possible but I have no freaking idea.)