I’m watching CNN and puking a little in my mouth right now.

The Congresswoman has been shot! Is the Right to blame? Was he just a radical individual? Wow! The nine year old who died was born on Sept 11, 2001. Does that mean anything?

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

The one that gets me most right now is the discussion going on about whether the rhetoric running rampant in politics these days will change because of this. Will politicians get their shit together and start working rather than trying desperately to stab each other in the eye? And most importantly, will we as a society force the politicians and the media to discourage this bullshit in the future? basically- Is there a lesson to be learned by this tragedy?

Yes there is.

Will we learn from it though?

Uh….. History pretty clearly tells us that NO, WE WILL NOT.

We’ve lived through a million such “tragic lessons” and haven’t yet learned a fucking thing.

Don’t believe me? Bet you can hear the name BP without that former blind rage. Bet most people can’t even pick out Rwanda on a fucking map. Darfur? The human rights violations happening daily around the world- our own backyard included? The fact that those living in The Gaza Strip struggle to even own fucking pencils, let alone seed, livestock, or building materials- basically anything in order to help them be self sustainable???? Have we learned?

I’m sorry to be the little black cloud with the disgusted look leaning quietly in the corner, but I am. I wish we would learn from our mistakes but the odds are not in our favor my friends. I give the outrage about a month to burn itself out and by then I’m sure another million dollar athlete will have fucked a hooker and thereby jerking our collective minds in their direction with the force of a bullet to the back of the head.

Our species really is grotesque.

Considering all the crazy antics and stories of my father and his 9 siblings it really should be shocking that they all made it to adulthood rather than us all being socked that one of the ten have died. And yet we are. I will fly out on Friday to be with my enormous crazy clan for the wake where we will have long loud cheers and toasts amid sobs.

My favorite Uncle Tim story has him in an “altered state” (wink wink) while doing some work on the eaves troughs. So impressed was he with his handy work that he took a few steps back to admire the completed job. While taking those steps back it had completely slipped his mind that he was on a ladder, 2 stories up. It was good for a laugh and like every other mishap (the axe and the bonfire comes to mind) he was fine.

Until this time when he wasn’t.

RIP Patrick Timothy Holden. I will hope that they have beer there.

xoxo

So here’s the deal on the whole environment thing. I don’t think we really want to fix it. Honestly, I don’t. Our global actions certainly back my theory up.

We’re like those disaster shows. Remember the one about the comet coming and the government builds giant caves underground in the year before the impact to house a few million of the lucky ones? Even Hollywood recognizes we’d rather bury ourselves in the sand then actually do something before it’s too late and if Hollywood knows it then it must be true. We’ll continue to let shit slide until we’ve tipped the balance and there is no longer any possibility of fixing it and then we’ll jump into action. We’ll build caves or public transit into space or some other such ridiculousness.

Basically, I don’t think we’ll do anything until action is the only means left for survival. I think this means we lack forethought. Or we’re just plain stupid.

I’m kind of leaning towards stupid.

My father comes from a family of ten. They are all fucking batshit crazy and I love every one of them. My Uncle Tim (mid 60’s) is currently in the hospital dying of leukemia and waiting a bone marrow transplant. Given my Uncle’s history and the speed of diagnosis, I have to admit that I am shocked that it isn’t liver/booze related. The saddest thing about it is that of his nine other siblings, only TWO can be tested as possible donors. My father and one of my aunts. No one else is eligible as they have already had one form or another of cancer. It seems to touch our family but never actually go in for the kill. This could be the time.

Ten kids from a crazy hippy pot smoking, booze guzzling family. Somehow it still seems weird that one of them might actually die. A couple of months ago my mother’s brother died (the first of six) So I guess it has begun. I knew it was coming, I just never actually believed it.

$#%@$#^&#&!!!!!!

(That was the sound of my bubble bursting.)

“WILDFIRE SMOKE ADVISORY ISSUED FOR
KAMLOOPS & SURROUNDING AREAS
Aug 19, 2010 – Kamloops. The Ministry of Environment has issued a Smoke Advisory for Kamloops and surrounding areas because of forest fire smoke that is affecting the area. Smoke concentrations will vary widely as winds, fire behaviour and temperatures change. This situation is expected to persist for at least the next 24 hours.
Between 8:00 and 9:00am this morning smoke levels rose rapidly in Kamloops. The Ministry of Forest is not aware of any new fires close to Kamloops: the smoke now in the Kamloops area is probably from fires burning in the Cariboo.
Avoid outdoor activities.
Fire activity is on-going, creating the potential for smoky conditions. Forecast is for a change of weather on Thursday which may improve air quality.”

Breathing is optional.

This is our day……… businesses are closing all over the place and the few mask donning pedestrians that are about make it appear like either Has Mat or Michael Jackson fans have invaded the downtown core. Visibility is at about a block right now and we all reek of that sour burnt wood smell.

Fuck.

I know we’ve been here before, but never in my recollection has the smoke been this bad. You shouldn’t be able to actually chew the air, should you? Not much to do but sit back and watch BC burn….

There’s that saying “It’s all smoke and mirrors.” I just didn’t realize they meant in my fucking living room. It’s center of the sun hot here right now but I can’t remember when I last saw blue sky.

This picture isn’t really all that impressive unless you know that there is actually a mountain back there. Several in fact, and not all that far away. It’s as though I suddenly live in the prairies without having any memory of packing and moving and leaving the mountains behind. It’s kinda like my glasses are dirty but no amount of cleaning removes the film that I am looking through.

This shot- also not particularly impressive- shows a blurry hill. On a normal day you can pick out individual trees. You can see the trail of dust left behind an ATV as it roars upward. Not so much these days. The interior is a shroud of smoke and the constant buzz of water bombers. 2 firefighters just died the other day when their bomber crashed and then the wreckage started yet another fire. I’ve lost track of how many are burning in my beloved BC interior. It reminds me of those uber foggy mornings in Vancouver where everything just disappears into the mist. Instead of that wonderfully sharp and briny sea smell, my house is a campfire, only missing the whole Kumbaya and marshmallow roasting part of it.

Fuck. I’d kill for a bit of wind right now.

I just finished eating a salad for second breakfast that was so fucking boring it should have killed itself. Or been a guest on The View.

I am about to start this stupid “cleanse” which essentially means a liquid diet. Given how much I LOVE food, would marry food, would have a skanky one night stand with food, this might be difficult. However, beer and wine are liquids and I have always had difficulty following a recipe, or rules for that matter, so we’ll see.

Steve- we’re walking to Dairy Queen for dinner and I’m having a double fucking flamethrower. And fries.

It all starts with the innocent statement

“Unidentified white powder.”

Suddenly, the calm quiet school that you run is roped off with yellow tape and there are 2 police cars, a fire truck and the Haz Mat truck and full trailer outside. Needless to say, interest was piqued by the passerby’s. By the end of the day I swear to dog that if I would have heard “What’s going on?” one more fucking time I would have stabbed someone in the eye with a pair of dull scissors.

So, when all was said and done, the “unidentified white powder” turned out to be plant fertilizer, but not before we caused quite a stir in my little desert town.

From one of my students came “Someone dumped laundry soap all over the inside of my car”

“Does your car smell like laundry soap?”

“Hmm. No. It doesn’t. But the whole inside is covered in blue & white powder”

This turned into a phone call from one of my instructors to the police. “What should we do? We’re not sure what it is.”

Enter Haz Mat and all other accompanying vehicles. Fuck.

I spent the day rounding up students for police interviews which entailed “If this is a joke gone bad, tell me now because if I find out that it’s laundry soap done as a stupid prank I’ll be back and I’ll grill you and I’ll polygraph you all.”

No one put up their hand.

By 2 pm they had the car sealed up with crime tape after Haz Mat determined that they’re not going in until testing is done, and they haul it to the environment Canada yard.

Again, turned out to be random act of vandalism with plant fertilizer, but holy shit did it fuck over my day. I would seriously like to kick the shit out of the asshole that’s walking around with a fucking bucket full of miracle grow.

Apparently this is how you cause a stir.