Remember the good old days when you would wake up in your lead paint laden bedroom to cram in a breakfast of processed foods before running out into the street with your friends to zip around the neighborhood on your banana seat equip bike sans helmet or bell or reflectors? Seat belts were optional, a BB gun was a perfectly acceptable gift for 10 year old, lawn darts were cool rather than “deadly projectiles” and if you spilled hot coffee in your lap you were laughed at rather than awarded several million dollars in the resulting lawsuit. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for safety- particularly when children are involved. I wholeheartedly support child safety seats & the cutting of the strangulating loopy cords on blinds, not letting adults smoke in a car containing children etc, etc. Do I believe in letting a kid fall down and scrape their knee? Absolutely- kids aren’t meant to live in bubbles and those glow in the dark band aids are available for a reason. I think we take safety a few steps over the line into the realm of overprotective but I don’t have kids, so what the hell do I know.
When it comes to adults though, I think we’ve not only crossed the line, I think we’ve trekked far beyond it and are camping deep in the heart of crazy town (aka enforced risk management for the masses.) Think I’m exaggerating? Let’s look at just a few recent examples. New Jersey is considering an all out ban on Brazilian waxing. If I were in New Jersey, it would no longer be my decision whether I wanted to sport the smooth hairless look verses the racing strip or the full Michael Jackson because 2 women reported being injured during the waxing service. Are you kidding me? How is the volume (or lack of) my pubic hair the business of anyone other than me?
The tragic death of actress Natasha Richardson has landed the helmet issue right back in the spotlight and as they’re already mandatory for bicycles most everywhere, I’m sure ski hills are next. And don’t forget water skiing, tubing and rollerblading. Oh and skateboarding, or for that matter, crossing the damn street.
Australia wants to follow China and Iran’s lead in mandatory internet filters. Porn would be just one of the things that would be banned because apparently Australians are not capable of looking at porn without adverse effects or without children getting a hold of it. What about those porn loving childless people? Nope! No porn for you either….you know, just in case.
I am quite frankly getting sick of being told what is and is not too dangerous or too risky for me. (Though don’t you find it highly amusing that we’re not allowed to drive around the block without being buckled in but it’s perfectly acceptable for to jump off of a fuck off foot high cliff attached to a giant elastic. Acceptable risk management 101?)I am an adult- isn’t being able to make your own decisions that what we as children looked forward to the most about being a grown up?
I’m no daredevil but if I want to wax my pink parts while watching porn and running with scissors….well, fuck you, I’m damn well gonna do it.















