I’m so bone tired right now that sticking my head in an oven seems like too much effort, though I’d really like to. I’m pretty sure if I curled up into a ball I’d fit perfectly. No basting required. My head is so fucking heavy that it’s bobbing around on my neck like one of those crazy dolls that defy things like a spine or muscles. When I finally do fall asleep, I wake often and for no apparent reason. I’m not thirsty, I don’t need to pee and there are no weird noises but BING! Suddenly I’m awake. I am considering asking/bribing/begging Steve to play with my hair tonight until I start twitching and drooling as that always seems to work. However, he was cranky at me last night and I was cranky right back, so I fear that while playing with my hair, he may squeeze in a few drops of super glue.

I don’t think that I own enough hats for that kind of event.