to desire the replica

posted on: April 30th, 2010

I normally only see my doctor  once a year when he has a bunch of lubed up fingers jammed inside me but after a brief visit this morning due to the KNIFESTABBINGHOLYFUCKKILLME pain, I apparently have sacrumilliosis or illadus or chittychiitybangbang, whatever the hell he said. This essentially means that my right side sacrum & ilium are having a giant fucking pissing match. That normally sexy spot where the dimples sit right above your ass…. yeah, right there. Oh, and because that isn’t nearly exciting enough, let’s throw in 2 inflamed disks. Why not? Canes are a fucking fashion statement, right? RIGHT!!??

It’s not like we were covered in grape jelly and playing giddy up in a fucking sex swing yesterday. I don’t even like grape jelly.

So I’m sitting at home buzzing on T3’s and drinking wine. Did I mention that it’s 2 o’clock in the afternoon and that I’m sitting at home buzzing on T3’s and drinking wine?

Because apparently I stepped on an ant or karmicly fucked someone over in another life, I now have a weird stiff limp, a cane, and a permanent wince on my face. Yeah, I’m pretty hot right now. Throw in a little drool and I’m a fucking super model.Try to stop licking your screen ok? It’s super creepy.

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Brian Smart Says:

So the cane and the limp thing has me thinking a sort of “Rosanna Arquette from Crash” kinda thing?

Bet you’re not thinking about the zit anymore though.

Kim Says:

The zit is still there (though less cancer looking than before) and I have far less metal on me than Rosanna!!!!!!
I’m super hot.

Jeannie Says:

I think I’m in love. If you need more T3’s I’ll send you mine because they make me exceedingly ill. I smoke up instead. It’s way better.

Hold in your tummy muscles sweetie - to support your back. Always. My mother made me do it and it was one of the only good things she did although I hated her for it. You can hate me but have another glass of wine while you do it.

Kim Says:

I will have TWO glasses for you and you smoke for me. You should have seen me trying to get the staff payroll done before I left for the day………hahahahah

One Fly Says:

Oh My! Take care and get better.

Kim Says:

With the pills and the wine I can’t go wrong!!!

Stever Says:

the sex swing is staying in the closet for a while a guess

Lulu Says:

When you figure out what f*cked you over karma-wise, let me know so I steer clear of it…
Don’t listen to what anybody says, alcohol and painkillers DO go together, from what I remember the summer I had whiplash…

Brian Smart Says:

Sorry…forgot to say sorry you are under the weather and get well soon…there are have satisfied the Hallmark gland.

Kim Says:

Steve- yes. until at least Monday.
Lulu- I will let you know because what ever it was- it was a fucking DOOZY!

Phaedra Says:

Hey lady I hope you are feeling better.

and if you have any T3’s left, ya know where to send them ;)

kim Says:

They go well with a nice glass of vino!!!

misterwah Says:

haha! I only laugh because the way you put it was funny. It’s my S.I. joints that have caused me problems since I was about 17, so I quite literally feel your pain. Never had to deal with the disc thing though.

I do know that T3’s stopped doing anything for me many moons ago… but that’s all I need to say about that.

I sincerely hope you feel better soon!

dan-o-wah

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