I normally only see my doctor once a year when he has a bunch of lubed up fingers jammed inside me but after a brief visit this morning due to the KNIFESTABBINGHOLYFUCKKILLME pain, I apparently have sacrumilliosis or illadus or chittychiitybangbang, whatever the hell he said. This essentially means that my right side sacrum & ilium are having a giant fucking pissing match. That normally sexy spot where the dimples sit right above your ass…. yeah, right there. Oh, and because that isn’t nearly exciting enough, let’s throw in 2 inflamed disks. Why not? Canes are a fucking fashion statement, right? RIGHT!!??
It’s not like we were covered in grape jelly and playing giddy up in a fucking sex swing yesterday. I don’t even like grape jelly.
So I’m sitting at home buzzing on T3’s and drinking wine. Did I mention that it’s 2 o’clock in the afternoon and that I’m sitting at home buzzing on T3’s and drinking wine?
Because apparently I stepped on an ant or karmicly fucked someone over in another life, I now have a weird stiff limp, a cane, and a permanent wince on my face. Yeah, I’m pretty hot right now. Throw in a little drool and I’m a fucking super model.Try to stop licking your screen ok? It’s super creepy.
