to desire the replica

posted on: September 17th, 2009

Before I commence screaming at someone who will undoubtedly not read this, let me set the stage for you. I am at the dog park with my two ruffians on a beautiful bright sunny afternoon. There are about 8 or 9 dogs of every shape & size running about madly and having a grand old time. I am chatting with a woman who has 3 med sized kids with her and their fluffy excited pooch “Buddy”. The kids are hanging out in the shade of a tree watching the dogs play. They are not running around, just smiling and watching. When a dog comes near them, they ask if they can pet it and then do so gently. There is a woman holding a poodle and scowling at the kids while she mutters under her breath.

ok…. got it? Good. Let the screaming commence!

Dear Asshole,

Firstly, I cannot believe that you actually said “This is a DOG park, not a KID park. We’re here to exercise our dogs, and they (nodding her head in the direction of the kids) have no business being here!” to the mother of those children. I’m actually glad that she was rendered speechless with shock as that meant that I didn’t have to yell over her to give you shit for being so incredibly and unnecessarily rude. It’s a public fucking place lady, and the kids were being more well behaved than half of the dogs there! I would see your point if they were all over the place, jumping on the dogs or scaring the shit out of them but this clearly wasn’t the case you bitter middle aged bitch. Are you under the impression that dogs are only to be “exercised” by adults? Seriously, where the fuck do you get off making that woman feel like shit for bringing her kids?

Here’s a perfect example of how much of a rancid douche bag you are- My dog is deathly terrified of children- their random movements scare the crap out of her and she will hide behind my legs as though they are about to come over, skin her alive, & make a beautiful pair of gloves. Maggi didn’t even fucking notice that they were there because they were so calm and quiet! If your dog is that sketched out in social situations then perhaps you should be accessing a less stressful activity than a PUBLIC FUCKING DOG PARK.

I was extremely pleased with the horrified look on your face after I let loose and called you out on your general jackassness. It made me warm inside. I also enjoyed watching you storm off like a 5 year old while I laughed out loud.

I feel sorry for your dog & hope that it shits in your left shoe just as your rushing out to a very important (and totally child free) meeting.

-Kim

Share and Enjoy:
  • del.icio.us
  • Digg
  • Facebook
  • Google
  • StumbleUpon

Brian Smart Says:

Kim: I think that one of the true signs of beauty is someone who can let loose with an instantaneous and impressively profane verbal barrage…and feel good about it afterwards. You are beautiful.

I hope you thanked the old lady and told her that “YOU ARE GOING THE WRONG WAY YOU OLD BATTLEAXE - THE FUCKING BITCH PARK IS THE OTHER DIRECTION - YOU’LL LIKE IT THERE - NO DOGS OR KIDS - JUST CRABBY HEARTLESS OLD APPLE DOLLS LIKE YOU. HAVE A NICE DAY…AND BY THE WAY POODLES ARE NOT DOGS…SO PISS OFF”

Come on, tell us how you really feel. :)

Woooow. I’ve seen people bring their kids to the park that run around without supervision randomly petting dogs that they don’t know (I don’t really blame them for that, I’ve done it a time or two, but my dog doesn’t like kids at all) and it’s stressful for other dogs and dog parents, but it sounds like these kids were model citizens. What. A. Cunt. Kapow.

Kim Says:

hahahahahahaha! I should totally make a sign “BITCH PARK HERE”

Kim Says:

LA- Was I too vague? I worried about that… ;)
Just a Girl- I know, right??!! If they we’re being obnoxious little assholes, then fine, but they were perfect and I don’t even LIKE most kids. Total cunt.

shine Says:

Kim? I love you.

YYYYYYYYYYYYESSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

why are people such douche bags? they just want something to complain about. and it’s especially worse when they’re dog people for some reason. seems like we should have things in common. i guess an asshole’s an asshole even if they do have a dog.

i bet the dog secretly hates her.

Sometimes I hate people. I’m glad you put her in her place.

Jeannie Says:

I love you.

Hannah Says:

LOL. I would have paid to watch you tell that cretin off! Seriously if the kids are well behaved then what’s the problem? Or more importantly-What the hell crawled up her ass and died?

Jay Says:

Right, because I’m sure she’s never taken insufferable mutt to a people park.

Brian Smart Says:

Hey what’s with pulling out the “c” word so fast! That’s the heavy artillery of curse words; I usually only use that one on special occasions or if the rest of the commonly used profanities are not having the desired impact!

Kim Says:

It’s my super power. A trashy mouth.
;)

Brian Smart Says:

Thanks for reminding me Kim. That kind of makes you and I like the Wonder Twins or something.

While I generally like children… ok, fine, I tolerate them in many circumstances, there is no excuse for that kind of behavior. I am so glad that you called her on all of her douchetasticness as I believe that the world was a more civilized place when incivility had consequences.

TK Says:

Dogowners can be worse than overprotective parents. I am so glad you dressed that bee-yatch down; no mother deserves to be talked to like that in front of her well-behaved children.

Oh, bless you, good woman… I fucking HATE dougchebags and their rude-ass antics. I mean, really. The very nerve! So glad to know there are some brave, trash-mouthed babes out there to serve and protect. Good for you! I think I love you now…

Kim Says:

Hot damn I adore you guys!

Leave a Reply