to desire the replica

posted on: March 25th, 2009

You know how some days you lay under a leafy shade tree in a sweet smelling meadow on a beautiful summer day while soulful music plays in the background and you think to yourself “If I could be any animal, I would be a bird so I could soar through the bright blue sky without a care in the world???”

No? Well, anyway……

If I posed that question to myself today I would be a lion. To be more specific, I would be a Tsavo lion like the ones from The Ghost and The Darkness. The reason for this is simple; today I am not laying in a pleasant grassy field. Today I would gorge villagers.

After finally falling asleep last night amid a burning sore throat and white hot searing cramps I was accidentally woken at 1am and then spent the next several hours tossing and turning, unable to get back to sleep despite being soul suckingly tired. So today I am Bitchy McCrankyPants. Where in this scenario is the “Green” part of the equation that the title alludes to, you ask? Well, in an effort to dig myself out of the Land of Bitch that I am currently residing in, I have decided to write about something that gives me pleasure and as I have been banned from talking about our sex life here, I will instead tell you about this;

I have a car. I like my car. It’s silver and named “Beauty” and I leased it brand spanking new off the lot just under 4 years ago. (Yes, leased. I don’t commit easily and like to have an open escape route.) However, despite our symbiotic relationship, I am returning it upon it’s expiration. It’s all about want vs. need and seeing as I have had it for nearly 4 years and it has well under 30,000 km, it clearly fits into the want rather than the need category. I have been drooling over the following photo for months and as of July, it is going to be my smarmy new ride.

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That bike is CUTE!

Good for you. Well done. Future generations thank you and will remember you as their queen.

i got your message from TLA and i have no idea why my site is rejecting your comments. im going to go through the spam filter and check it out. either way, now you have my email address. :)

Kim Says:

@ discotrash TLA = BEST MAILMAN EVER! lol.

Very good, Kim!! If I didn’t have 2 hairy beasts to haul around, I’d probably be able to make do with a bike as well.

Jeannie Says:

I think I might have a bike somewhere. I haven’t ridden in years. Last time, my butt was so sore after only a few moments, I decided I really didn’t need to ride a bike any more. Besides, traffic is so much worse now, it frightens me.

Desert Rat Says:

It even has a bell!

Of course I heard this in my head as I read…I wish I was a bird, so I could fly faa; faa, faa away from hera!

LiLu Says:


I don’t even notice I don’t have a car until people mention it. And I LOVE it.

Almost as much as I love saying Bitchy McCrankyPants.

I thought my ex wife was the only Bitchy McCrankypants ;-)

Bon Don Says:

Awww I want one too!! I’ve been bugging for a basket for my beach crusier! LUCKY! SO CUTE

Dusty Says:

Bitchy McCrankyPants is a great name…and less offensive as The Bitch in Charge which is what I go by. ;) are getting rid of your vehicle? Do you live in a city with great transportation, like subways and such?

Cuz if you dont…you will miss your car at times.

But I applaud you moxy chica. :)

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