to desire the replica

posted on: June 16th, 2010

Excuse the absence my pretties…..I kind of have a big bowl of diarrhea on my plate. With a side of hate.

Work is currently a pressure cooker of everything that gives birth to grey hair. Then my freelance writing gig has just heaped an ungodly amount of work on to my “unable to say no” lap and holyfuckinghell. My dog also just broke my favorite (and at the time very full) wine glass with the 700 foot stick that she had in her mouth.

Oh, and in my day job, my receptionist- the guardian that keeps the rabid salesmen away- is in Winnipeg awaiting the birth of her first grandchild. I love her and am excited about her new family addition but because this blog is all about ME I have to lament her absence in that I had to deal with the crazy fucking spa product chick that I’ve hated for 3 years and who Karen knows well to keep far away from me least I punch her in the throat.

So… having said that… I miss you all. I haven’t visited any blogs since my legs felt freshly shaved and I can’t see this changing in the next week. Stick with me gang, I’ll provide porn and free product samples soon. Or at least I’ll blog about wanting to have porn and free product samples.

Oh, and did I mention that I’m working towards launching a kick ass food blog?

Yeah. I need more wine.

On the up side, Steve and I zip out to Kelowna on Wednesday to see my other boyfriend Matt Good in concert. This is prefaced by a wee visit with my baby Gray before Suz Stan & Steve & I head out for an awesome mexi dinner and then some swooning (or at least Suz & I) over Mr. Good.

I definitely need more fucking wine.

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Your receptionist is out drinking margaritas with ME, bitch! :)

I WISH I was out drinking margaritas. Goddamn..

Kim Says:

I am WEEPING right now at the thought. Oh holy hell. Someone SHOOT ME! (with really good bourbon I mean.)
Veg assassin- please drag one of your airstreams down RIGHT NOW and let’s do a booze cruise.
Please.

Jeannie Says:

I’d love to see Kelowna again
I’d love to see Matt Good again
I’d love to drink more wine again
I don’t want any of your other problems especially the spa product chick.

Fine. But it had better be GOOD porn. Not anything weird like midgets and creamed corn ;-)

Phaedra Says:

Nice to have ya back, and enjoy the concert AND lots of wine!

Brian Smart Says:

Thanks for sharing the misery…but sounds like there is light at the end of the tunnel and Kelowna should be great. If it makes you feel better my last week or so has been similar with lots of work for Yukon Parks and on top of it all late evenings doing annual recertification training. I think sometimes I invite abuse though I suspect this might be the Irish side. As an example I, for one reason or another have always missed OC spray training (think bear spray x 20) so last night was my turn. You bascially get sprayed in the face, defend yourself with a baton, and then have to make it to the CO truck to call for help. Right before I get sprayed I look at my coworker, and ex-tactical instructor with the RCMP and tell him that “You know that new moustache you grew makes you look like Ron Jeremy”. He emptied the entire fucking can on me.

Kim Says:

Brian- you deserved it. Sorry, but you did! hahaha
Native……. Midgets and cream corn? You really are my kinda guy.
Jeannie & Phaedra- there is always times for more wine. Thank fuck for that!

Brian Smart Says:

Kim: Ya I figured I had that coming. It might have been the remark he made when spraying me: “Fuck you Smart…if I’m Ron Jeremy then you’re about to get the full load right in your fucking face”

note to self: never tell an armed person that they look like a fat porn star.

Kim Says:

Excellent advise!!!! hahahah

Mr C Says:

I’ll bring the wine! I’ll help drink it too!

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