to desire the replica

posted on: December 23rd, 2009

I am only a few short hours from being off work for 10 whole glorious days! Halla-fucking-luya!!!! There will be wine and food and presents and long stretches of time wearing flannel and fuzzy socks. There will be lounging. There may or may not be showering. There will be dogs running through snowy fields and cold noses and sitting in front of the fireplace. I am shutting down this bad boy until at least Dec 26th at which time my slightly hungover and turkey bloated body will regal you with a whole bunch of boring stories about…. well, probably about nothing. Unless Santa’s sleigh crashes in my backyard and we bring him inside and get him all pissed up and he throws up in the hallway and tries to hump one of the dogs. If that does happen I think we can all rest assured that Steve & I will be getting a villa in some charming European hillside for Christmas next year.

C’mon Santa. Crash that motherfucker.

ps- My receptionist Karen has a rather charming nativity scene on her desk. Is it wrong that I drew a mustache, sideburns and a penis on the baby jesus? I just figured that he must be sick of always being a baby- he wants to be A MAN!!!!

Of course, now the the whole “swaddled naked in a manger” thing is creepy as fuck.

Happy Christmas all and to all a good bottle of wine.

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Karen Moore Says:

Poor baby Jesus…..he’s actually looking at Mary a little differently this morning.

Brian Smart Says:

I did the same thing at work: if they find out who put the wise men, the sheep, and the donkey in a daisy chain I’ll be in shit.

Since Santa will be hitting my house before yours (I assume he’ll be heading south and so will hit my place first) I am OK with him putting the sleigh into the rhubarb in your yard and you guys get all goofed up.

Kim Says:

It’s ok guys- at least we’ll all know people in hell.

It is not only NOT wrong, it is compulsory! And irresistible. And he’s lucky to have gotten off so lightly when he could have gotten a Groucho Marx nose and glasses combo or a red nose. Besides, the baby Jesus would totally approve. He has a sense of humour, dude, don’t sweat it. :)

Jeannie Says:

I’ll take that bottle of wine and second it!

I love the little baby Jesus skit in Talladega Nights…

I envy you your days off. Pea Green. or is that pee green?

Ashley Says:

YES I won’t be the only one in hell!! hahaha its too tempting not to do that. Oh and if you ever need more wine, my mother literally has a never ending supply of wine at my house. I don’t know how she does it, but the minute one bottle disappears, ten more reappear in its place.

Merry Christmas to you! And happy wine drinking ;)

TK Says:

Heyya. Merry & happy etc. So what if you offended Santa & Jesus–you didn’t offend me!

(Thank God Christmas is OVER.)

At least you didn’t give him a Hitler mustache. Or did you?

Phaedra Says:

Bloated turkey body. So hot right now. Oh yeah!

Hope you are having an amazing time, dear Kim!

i have to shower today. boo.

So you know it’s wrong to talk about the baby jeebus with a sweet stach and a penis and NOT show a picture right? I mean you are going to show us a picture sometime right?

Kim Says:

I will snap one for you. Though, would that be considered kiddie porn or do the sideburns save me?

Kim Says:

Native- What can I say????? There was limited surface space to draw one- if it’s Hitler shaped, it’s purely a coincidence. Honestly.

LiLu Says:

You know the best part about these 10 days off??

WE’RE ONLY HALFWAY THROUGH.

i love the yorkie cuteness i somehow missed until now over there. happy, happy days off! :)

Jay Says:

Wow, I hope your holidays were everything you were hoping for!

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