to desire the replica

posted on: September 8th, 2010

So as a freshly married couple, how does one go about impressing their new spouse? Well, if you’re married to me, obviously you politely ignore the crazy while it slowly leaks out. Also, this is an excellent idea;

After a ridiculously yummy and filling feast of Chinese take out and you’re reclining on the couch, full belly and perfectly content, you manage to restrain your utter shock and horror when your freshly minted wife spins around her laptop and yells;

“Oh my fucking god! Look at this retro couch! It’s in that antique shop we stopped at on Friday and it’s in mint fucking condition and on SALE! And it has a CHAISE LOUNGE!

I. Must. Have. It. NOW.

(Keep in mind that the antique store is in a village 45 minutes away and though it’s 8pm I know that the owner lives right above and loves to make a sale.)

You impress your brand new wife by turning your head to hide the fact that you’re rolling your eyes, borrow a truck, drive her out to buy it right then and there, haul it home, unload it, realize the old couch won’t fit where she was planning on putting it so you load it into the truck and drive it to your office where it can be safely stored as she loves it at refuses to get rid of it (please don’t even think about wondering why I just replaced a couch that I love. This one has a CHAISE!) and then you come home and kiss her and still love her as you watch her hum happily while rearranging the living room.


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He’s a keeper.

So’s the couch! Congrats! Score!

Phaedra Says:

That couch is the ultimate in retro chic!

That Steve, he’s not so shabby either ;)

Stever Says:

I might not be so shabby, but i’m not really retro chic either.

Jeannie Says:

I think my friend’s parents had that couch. Wait - maybe everyone did.

Brian Smart Says:

Wow. Is that the couch that Dick Van Dyke trips over at the beginning of his show?

Steve: Stop it…you’re making the rest of us husbands look bad…one of us will file a grievance if you continue with this good behaviour.

Stever Says:

@Brian, it’s still early, I’m bound to trip up sooner or later.

Kim Says:


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