With the gratingly irritating “You Bettcha“, the inability to pronounce the letter “g” and the “I’m a hockey mom! Vote for me!” shticks having played themselves out, the Republican party seem to be looking to polish Caribou Barbie into a “serious politician”. The you bettchas and the workin’ mom were effective for a few moments, though in reality were probably just transference from Clinton; “A woman in the White House!! GO Hilary! Go Palin!” (You just KNOW that the idea of that KILLS Hillary!)
It is painfully, embarrassingly obvious that the failin’ Palin camp has switched tactics in these final moments before the Republican ship slips beneath the oily surface of the water. Palin has dropped the Alaskan “twang” that was so greatly emphasized in the early days and she seems to have developed the ability to pronounce that pesky “g” that had once given her such trouble. She’s primped and pretty and talking like a big girl Caribou Barbie and yet all of that can’t divert attention from the fact that SHE IS NOT EVEN REMOTELY CAPABLE OF FULFILLING THE POSITION THAT SHE IS RUNNING FOR!!! Even the Republican party knows this and will undoubtedly abandon her shorty after Obama makes his victory speech, but they’re sure as shit trying right now to bolster her credibility seeing as the “novelty factor” has worn out it’s welcome.
Her attempts to be credible and stoic and wise make me cringe.
Sorry guys, you can teach her to pronounce names with loads of vowels, you can show her how to squint her eyes and purse her lips in an attempt to appear deep and thoughtful. Hell, you can even shovel on the make up and various other lotions and potions to improve her image, but until you can perform a brain transplant, you’re fighting a losing battle.
On the up side, it seems as though this campaign may spawn not just Joe the non-plumber’s musical career, but my own as well. If Palin decides to run for the Big Cheese position as she alluded to while talking to French President Nicolas Sarkozy Canadian radio host Sebastien Trudel and Marc-Antoine Audette this weekend, I have the perfect campaign song for her. Try it out and let me know what you think….
***Sung to the tune of the Dr. Pepper theme***
“I’m a Maverick, he’s a Maverick, she’s a Maverick.
Wouldn’t you like to be a Maverick too?
Be a Maverick……. Vote for the Maverick”
(The second verse is mostly just humming as there isn’t much else to say. Cheerleaders are optional.)
