Tonight I shall primp and paint and try to look like someone who spends less than 70% of her life in flannel pajama pants and attend a little wine and cheese gallery event. I will even wear my sexy black boots- the kind that Susin & I use to call “Come fuck me” boots when we saw girls wearing them in high school. Wait. Are “Come fuck me” boots only the ones that go all the way up to your thigh? In that case I’ll be wearing my “How about just a little oral?” boots and maybe even a little perfume.
I like these little soirees. I like wine and cheese and appetizers and clean underwear and lipstick. I do not however usually like the other people that attend. I find pretension extremely irritating and chances are that at least one person will walk in wearing a fucking beret and stand all jaunty like in front of random works and hum and haw about their deeper meaning. They won’t know the deeper meaning- they’re just concerned that they appear to be contemplating it.
I shall do my best to refrain from calling anyone an asshat tonight. I shall also automatically befriend anyone that comes up to me and says “Hey! Those are great come fuck me boots!”