to desire the replica

posted on: September 15th, 2010

Despite my normal OCD tendencies to over think and over plan for everything, every once in a while I get caught *gasp* unprepared.

So I go in for a mammogram yesterday (shut up assholes- Don’t you watch Cougar town? 40 is the new 20!) I check in and get led to the private waiting room where you take off your bra, shove it in your purse like a bad high school date, put your shirt back on and then wait patiently with a whole bunch of other bra-less women to have your boobs squished between two pieces of Plexiglas.

I get called in and I’m standing in front of the mashing contraption when it hits me. Today was probably not the best day to have worn a dress to work. She laughs and tells me that it happens all the time. So I pull off the dress and a few minutes later as a strange woman is fondling my breasts while I stand there in nothing but a black thong and a green lead apron, I say to her;

“Is it just me or does this feel a little like porn right now?”

She looks me straight in the eye and says “Yeah. A little bit. But weird porn.

Share and Enjoy:
  • del.icio.us
  • Digg
  • Facebook
  • Google
  • StumbleUpon

Phaedra Says:

what exactly is weird porn? Does it include midgets and/or clowns? Fyi I start the mam next year, and yes 40 is the new 20!

Kim Says:

As far as I can tell, the medical uniform was very much in keeping with your basic porn scenario- I think it was the x-ray machine. If there were clowns involved I would have gotten my half naked ass outta there in a heart beat!!!

Jeannie Says:

I guess I should get my ass to do my mammogram then (only 2 yrs past due) - at least if I want to get fondled by another woman in this lifetime. I won’t be wearing a dress - or a thong.

Kim Says:

aw c’mon Jeannie- we all have to do our part for the porn industry! ;)

Brian Smart Says:

I don’t know about it being porn…I don’t think so. Kinda like when I had the big “V” after the girls were born. I was living in a small town at the time and unbeknownst to me there were two doctors that did this wonderful work; my family doctor and then another MD who happened to be on my hockey team; Tony. I go in, get in the gown, they give the the shot and I start to fade in the room and the door opens and it’s not my doctor (he caught called to an emergency) but there he is, Tony, with a big smile on his face and a Wilkinson Sword razor from the mid 1960’s in his hand, and says “Hi Smartie…no sudden moves OK?”

Kim Says:

hahahhahaha. I’d have headed for the hills, screaming all the way!!!!

Stever Says:

show pics, or it didn’t happen :)

Kim Says:

@ Stever- Really sweetie? You want your wife to post pictures of her in a thong and a lead apron? Cause you know I will….. Be careful what you ask for my love.
;)

Brian Smart Says:

By the way, I’m sure that having boobs squished between two pieces of Plexiglass is uncomfortable…I will not deny you that. However, and staying on the hockey theme for another second, having testicles rammed into just a single piece of Plexiglass must be just about as bad.

Kim Says:

I will just have to take your word for it Smartie!
;)

[...] Doing my part for porn [...]

Leave a Reply