to desire the replica

posted on: April 22nd, 2010

Today is the day when all the otherwise uninterested people get to pretend to recycle, care about their carbon imprint, and seriously think about donating to the WWF.

To me, earth day is sort of like St. Patrick’s Day. Suddenly everyone you know is spouting about their 1/457th of Irish heritage when in reality it’s just a ploy to avoid that pesky “drunk in public” charge at 8am.

Mother Earth knows this. She’s kinda like Santa that way, she knows who’s been naughty and who’s been nice. Given this fact, there are some factory owners that should be expecting to be hit by lightning one day because make no mistake people, she may be patient, but she is also a vengeful temptress with a wicked sense of humour. There will be a day when she simply rolls her giant shoulders and shrugs off our human race like the parasites that we are.

She may be biding her time, but trust me, she’s mighty fucking pissed at us right now.

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Brian Smart Says:

An old Grandfather quote for you about holidays: “I love your grandmother every day so I don’t need St.-fookin-Valentines to remind me of that. Been Irish since Christ was a cowboy so I don’t need St. Patricks Day to remind me of that. I don’t believe in God so could not give less of a shiite about when his fictious son was born…although I do appreciate the presents…What the fook is “Earth Day” for? We’re all in deep shiite boy-o if we only recognize that one day a year. Don’t get me started on Remembrance Day”.

If there was enough Irish whiskey in the world he could have taken Einstein in 2 rounds.

Kim Says:

Your Grandfather should have written a set of “Coles notes” for the planet!

Brian Smart Says:

Not really related but my friend Carolynn calls me last night and she is hysterical. Nothing to be worried about since I have known her since Grade 5 and she was hysterical then too. Anyway, she still lives in Ontario where we all sort of grew up and they are doing this film shoot with Donald Sutherland. So she meets him - cool. But then she notices this guy and asks a friend of hers who he is and the tech replies “I dunno some drummer from U2 or something” and Carolyn being the most psycho U2 fan realized it’s Larry Mullins Jr. If she screamed in his ear like she did in mind the guy must have been scared shitless.

Kim Says:

hahahah poor guy.

Pauline Says:

“There will be a day when she simply rolls her giant shoulders and shrugs off our human race like the parasites that we are.”

As much as I hate to say this, I agree and kinda wish she would get on that ASAP. Us fleas have been wrecking our own home for way too long!

Sadly, most people are too arrogant to think that anything could possibly happen to our species. But you’re absolutely right, at some point it’s all going to come crashing down. Overconsumption and limited resources generally don’t mesh well.

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