I simply cannot stand it any longer. This farce has gone too far, and in this season of “Good will toward men” I must confess my American friends, that we Canadians have been lying to you for quite some time now. Do any of you recall Rick Mercer’s Talking to Americans? Do you specifically recall when some of you truly believed that we Canucks actually all lived in igloos? Do you also remember how we snickered at you after that aired? We rolled our eyes as though we were stupefied that you Americans would be so ridiculous and so blatantly uninformed about your neighbors. Yes, we mocked you heartily.
Well, I am here to break the silence. Should this blog never again be updated, they have taken me out for daring to speak the truth. And you guys thought we were all so sweet and polite and doormat-ish.
It has always been true. We just happen to be terrific liars. I know, you are all confused…… “What about those Canadian home reno shows like Mike Holmes?” you ask. Well, truth be told, they’re all taped in Newark.
I am tired of pretending that we don’t in fact live in igloos. Maggi is actually a beaver and of course I play hockey. And yes, I know your friend Tom.
My dear deceived American friends, should you have any questions about this grand ruse, please feel free to meet me at Tim Horton’s and I will clarify everything for you. If you get lost, ask anyone, we have built in homing devices that lead directly to the closest Timmy’s.
We’re very, very, sorry for lying to you all for so long . As a peace offering, we are sending you Celine Dion.
