First off….. Happy fucking May 1st or as Susin & I like to call it; The bloody month of May or Mayhem. Growing up and as young adults, everything horrid happened in May. Not just irritating stuff, I mean gut wrenching, crap right on your head, baaaaad stuff. So much so that we banned each other from any sort of travel in the bloody month of May. We think that we broke the curse a few years back, but I have to admit, I get that bubbling diarrhea rumbling in my bowels every time this fucking month rolls around…….
Secondly….. If you work with a bunch of insane women, it is not advisable to leave your office with your facebook account logged in or you may come back to a tidal wave of messages congratulating you on the pregnancy that you were unaware of. So if I know you via facebook let me be very clear; Despite what my status update shouted from the mountain top, I AM NOT PREGNANT!
Thirdly….. Well, there is no thirdly.