to desire the replica

posted on: July 10th, 2009

I fucking love this one. (Thanks TK! You know me well!) If you haven’t already seen it- you won’t believe it’s true….. After returning from vacation in Egypt a Polish woman was shocked to discover that her 13 year old was knocked up. That she had slipped away in the evenings and gotten a little hot & heavy with a penis wielding boy was apparently unfathomable, so she had obviously gotten preggers via other methods.

Like swimming. In what she refers to as a “mixed pool.”

She is now suing the hotel for compensation, and as wacko as it already sounds, my question is this; How did the pool break her hymen? Or is there a dude ranch out there somewhere that’s about to be dragged into court?

(Of course, imagine if it were true? This woman from Poland just single handedly bankrupted the worlds previously profitable sperm banks.)

On a similarly bizarre note; my mother was raised to believe that if you were running in the dark and bumped into a pole (flag, tetherball, or otherwise) you would immediately become pregnant.

Yeah, I know. Don’t ask.

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Haha, I just read about this last night and was all “WTF? Is she really so naive?”

I guess if you run REALLY hard into a pole (from say…Warsaw) it COULD happen. In a pool? Not so much. Unless some dude has REALLY, admirably, iron man strength swimmers who can survive in chlorine and swim right through a swimsuit and up the hoodilly to no mans land.

Kim Says:

ha ha ha! I wonder if those little ironman swimmers were wearing bathing caps?

Brian Smart Says:

Is “penis wielding boy” not a redundat phrase? I would have assumed that had you simply said “boy” that you also meant a penis was being wielded in some way, shape, or form. Anway, thanks for the reminder; I have twin daughters about this age and I need more land mines for the back yard and another box of shotgun shells and brighter halogens for the spotlights wouldn’t hurt either. Cancelling swimming lessons and pass to the Whitehorse Canada Games Centre.

Dave Says:

I don’t know, my wife got pregnant in a pool. Well, a bathtub really. What, are you trying to say something about my wife?

Kim Says:

Brian- all boys are penis “possessing” but not all are penis “wielding.” ;)
Dave- as long as you were also in the tub it’s a-okay!

Kim Says:

ps- Brian, with your knowledge of bear traps and the the like, I feel sorry for your daughters future suitors!!!!!

Dave Says:

Tom Wait’s had some words to say on the subject. Well, not swimming, but you know the potential pitfalls and dangers of teenage pregnancy.

Kim Says:

I do like me some Tom Waits!

Brian Smart Says:

Kim: actually that’s a good point - some of the snares might come in handy. Coincidentally we have a course this afternoon on live capture (I am doing my own section on “Master Baiting techniques” but for some reason nobody has signed up for my section yet. ????

Dave Says:

HAHAHHAHAAAAHHAHAAA
That is fricking horrible Brian.

Kim Says:

Groan (giggle) groan!

Brian Smart Says:

sorry about that. Hey astronomers get to make uranus jokes so I’m allowed to have my own running gag OK!

Kim Says:

Master bait to your hearts content Bri! :)

Ree Says:

Must be a Polish thing. My mother (raised by a Czech mom and Polish dad) thought you could get pregnant swimming with a boy. Seriously.

Batcavebilly Says:

Swimming is ok, just make sure that the gene pool you’re diving into is deep enough!

I got pregnant looking at Elvis once. It was awhile ago.

Neil Says:

Sounds more like she’s drinking too many mixed drinks.

TK Says:

Hello there. I love what my friend @ironbrandon (www.brandonsmarathon.com) had to say about this pregnancy:

“It could happen if she fell into the pool…. onto the lifeguard’s penis…. repeatedly…”

Kim Says:

hahahahahaha. You guys kill me.

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