to desire the replica

posted on: May 21st, 2009

It’s like my apartment knows I’m moving.

As you may or may not recall, I’ve had about a zillion floods, broken pipes, emptying hot water tanks, inoperable toilets, rivers cutting paths through the ceiling, etc, etc, etc. Back in the day when the constant water problems were still kind of funny and not yet soul crushingly annoying, my landlord would joke about my being an Aquarian. Of course the water flows to me, I’m the water carrier.

I would be lying if I didn’t admit that some of the attractiveness of swapping floors with Bill is to hand him over the flood torch while I move up to dry land. Not only will Steve & I have space and a smarmy guest room and big bright windows, Maggi & Naysa will no longer have those days when it is necessary to tread water in the kitchen. So last night while lounging on the couch with bellies full of red wine and spicy fajitas, the bathroom faucet experienced an epic fail and flooded the cabinet under the sink and the bathroom floor. When Bill came rushing down to fix it I told him that “I just knew I’d have another fucking water issue before moving, it’s like the place knows I’m leaving.”

And Bill replied “Awwww. The apartment’s crying.”

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Karen Moore Says:

71 days….but who’s counting?

f.B Says:

your apartment likes you. i hope my house feels the same about me when i leave. oh right, it does right now.

LiLu Says:

You should probably keep some fire, wind, earth, and heart on hand.

Yanno, so you can make Captain Planet next time this happens.

suz Says:

Bill should put a sump pump in. $2000- but no more flood damage. We did…floods suck!

Jeannie Says:

Suck it up apartment!

Dusty Says:

As a newbie to your blog, I was unaware of your flooding problem..apparently a river used to run right through your apartment or the plumbing sucks majorly?

People just never cannot fuck with Mutha Nature. The bitch ALWAYS wins. ;)

Desert Rat Says:

I would have gone crazy along time ago! when anything floods I run around crazy cleaning up because mold smells so awful and is dangerous!

Liz Says:

I have never heard of such a flood-plagued place! Glad you guys are getting out of there.

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