to desire the replica

posted on: March 31st, 2009

Today is Tuesday. I still have to wait all of today and all of fucking tomorrow until I know whether or not random chick picked up the bike THAT SHOULD BE MINE! I am not a patient gal- I just don’t have it in me. Let me give you an example from years ago of my ability to wait for things that I REALLYREALLYREALLY want….After visiting the pound and magically finding the little black mutt that pushed her nose up against mine through the wire while I lay on the cement that smelled faintly of piss & Lysol, I was told I had to wait 3 days in case her owner showed up. I looked around. I plotted. I told the little black puppy (that would eventually grow to be a 90lb beast of pure crazyhappywonderful) that I would return for her. 3 days my ass!

Drive to Surplus Herby’s. Bolt cutters, CHECK! Replacement lock (because I’m not a total bastard) CHECK! Backpack big enough to shove in puppy, CHECK! My plan was perfect. Nothing would stop me because she needed to be MY DOG!!! I even had an envelope to leave the dog fee cash in. Unfortunately by the time I got back they had moved her to a different run for the afternoon and my bolt cutters were useless on her new cage. I had to wait 3 whole fucking days. By the time the waiting period was over and I was allowed to take her I had phoned them upwards of 50 times to make sure she was still waiting. They practically threw her at me and I kept those bolt cutters for years because they always made me smile.

I am not good at waiting. It just isn’t my thing.

(ps- I walked Maggi by the bike shop after work yesterday and it was STILL THERE!)

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I love that you were going to steal the dog. That’s hilarious, and possibly something I would do. Except I want to steal all the dogs and run away to a farm with them.

You should take the bolt cutters, wait outside the bike shop, and if the woman comes to pick up the bike, club her with them and drag her into an alley. Bike is YOURS!

Dusty Says:

OMG, you are a wonder to behold Kim! I got shot in the ass with rock salt once when we were trying to liberate some avocado’s from the orchard. Rock salt burns, did you know that? ;)

Keeping good thoughts that the bike will be yours…one way or another. :p

Kim Says:

Ok WAIT!!!! How about I club her with the bolt cutters AND shoot her with rock salt (I just happen to have some)
Wow. She’s gonna totally regret trying to steal my bike!!!!!
(Will you guys visit me in jail?)

Great story!

Lucky dog! :)

Sure! For that sort of crime, definitely. :D

Dusty Says:

Hell yeah I would visit ya..I love roadtrips woman! ;)

Anything special ya want me to bake into a cake or pie? :lol:

I bet they have a picture of you at the pound now: “Call the church police if you see this woman!” They’re gonna give you an exorcism on the spot. Keep those bolt cutters handy if you see a pontiff!

Bon Don Says:

And this story is why I LOVE LOVE LOVE you!!

OK so if you’re ever in The OC, bring that bolt cutter with you cause we are stealing us some puppies!

Kim Says:

@Bon Don- Absofreakinglutely!

Just did a roadtrip out thru edson and back, catching up on the goings on here…. yada yada. hmm. I’m glad you’ve finally come to your senses. The shiny orange bike was a bad idea; a recycled bike makes as much sense as a recycled dog. Double green points for you :) –Don’t forget if you find yourself still looking.

kim Says:

ok Joey- you gotta spill because I have no patience- who are you? If you’re mentioning my Father’s dinky little town then I clearly know you, no?

you mean in the biblical sense? hey, does he still have that black horse? lol.

kim Says:

Grrrrr! Joey- If you know me, you know I have NO PATIENCE!!!!!

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